An executive decision

Today's plan was simple, some might say idiot prof. Mrs D trudged off to our annual C.A fun/family day with a box of face paints in tow. I would get Jack ready and meet her in an hour or two, how hard could it be? At first things went well, so with the boy in a jolly mood I made an executive decision and set off to our local shopping centre. I had worked out that I could simply "pop" in to clarks, grab a new pair of shoes for the little fellow and be with Mrs D within the hour.

As I strolled into the shop I should has sensed my cunning plan may have been a tad on the optimistic side. Screaming children and frustrated parents covered every inch of the place with staff running round and round in a state of heightened confusion. Head down I plunged through and grabbed a ticket  marked 86. I think by this time Jack must have sensed my inexperience because he decided his nice guy phase was over, this was exactly the same time I heard a faint voice cry 62, next customer, 62.

Almost thirty minutes latter, and with a heavy heart I handed a carefully chosen shoe to one of Clarks finest and whimpered "six and a half F please". Five minutes latter I found myself listening to an in-depth explanation that translated to, we ain't got em in that size. OK, I mumbled through my now tightly clenched teeth, what about these? Eventually a shoe was found to fit the boy, but by this time my mind had started to wonder. I'll leave them here for now and be back shortly, I found myself saying.

As my most cunning of plans developed I found myself heading for one of the sports shops. In fact I trudged through another two shoe emporiums taking both Jack, and myself to the edge of reason and sanity. On three separate occasions I found shoes I really liked, only to be told we don't have em in that size. Finally beaten, I headed back to Clarks safe and secure in the knowledge I could simply "nip" in and grab the pair from behind the counter.

By the time I got back, things had clearly taken a turn for the worse, but the shoes were still there. All I needed to do was double check the size. No problem, the lady behind the counter said, just grab a ticket. Twenty five minutes latter, torn and tattered, with Jack screaming, we left the shop with a new pair of shoes. Of course, but this time any ideas about fun and or family days had long since passed. My only hope was to get the boy home and let him have a nap.

Within seconds the boy was sleeping. I however, have been left to consider the error of my ways. It seems to me that Mums make this whole looking after Children thing appear a little to easy. My experience is this is simply not the case. To every parent who has braved the bank holiday shops to by a pair of shoes, I salute you, I truly salute you.                      

Thats why.

Talking to someone yesterday about why people end up alcoholic, if it was mum, dad, the gold fish etc, etc. Truth is I don't know. However, I like the explanation given in the AA Big Book by Dr Silkworth (below). Seems all most to simple eh?

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks, drinks which they see others taking with impunity."

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Once in a great while

It seems to me that all to often the actions of us so called grown ups can have knock on affects far and beyond what our tiny little selfish minds care to acknowledge. We seem to hold on to a grudge for years up to the point that we can actually forget why we were so pissed off in the first place. But once in a great while, someone stands up and says enough is enough.

Today Jack got to spend a whole heap of time with family he had never met before and I wept with pure joy. Although at work all day, I kept in touch with Mrs D for regular updates and I'm reliably informed they had a great time.

I wonder if the day will ever come when as so called adults, we are able to once again recapture the simple moment by moment innocence we see in the eyes of our children. You see, Jack couldn't care less about family feuds and things long since passed, nor could Eddie and Ronnie. What they care about is here and now and for them, that's all that matters. The end result is indeed a truly life changing realisation, should we choose to pay attention.      

A bit good.

I'm not generally one for loading this blog up with loads of photos, but I really do like this one. I remember spending hours when I was younger with my old Zenith SLR trying to get something a bit good with long exposures. This I think is a bit good.

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From the mind of Homer

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle - they're on TV!

Bingo! I love that game, but I can't remember what to say when you win.

Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

Lisa, vampires are make believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Save me, Jeebus!

Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car!

Well, crying isn't gona bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.

I don't hate your mother, I just won't be sad when she dies.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain - remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You/re making a scene'.

No smoking

Can you ever imagine a hat, that can prevent smoking. The answer lies in this weird invention called anti-smoking hat, which makes it impossible for a person to smoke, while wearing that hat. The mechanism behind the working of this hat is as follows. A small pressurized container with dense and non-toxic foam is attached to the inner side of the hat. The brim of the hat has a spray nozzle, which is connected to the container and a sensor that can detect heat or smoke. Whenever, the person who is wearing hat, starts smoking, the sensor detects it and sends signal to release the foam. The foam inside the cylinder gets sprayed on the cigarette, thereby extinguishing it. Even though, one of the weird inventions, this anti-smoking hat is unique.

Air show time

The last three days in this town have been utter madness. Bournemouth gets like that in the summer and its well expected, but at air show time thousands of people descend on the town for whats normally a great few days. But not this year, no sir, not in any way. For this year the heavens opened and the clouds dropped making it all but impossible to carry on safely.

Memories of the 1910 Bournemouth air show and the sad demise of Charles Rolls, the co-founder of Rolls Royce could well have been in the minds of our local council, or not. He was killed in a plane crash at the International Aviation Meeting. Charles has the dubious pleasure of being what is believed to be the first British airman to die in an air crash. Can't help thinking that's a little on the ironic side when you consider the affect Rolls Royce has had on aviation. 

To be honest, its probably a blessing in disguise. We took Jack to see an F16 on Friday and the poor little chap screamed his head off all the time it was in the air. Still you have to feel a little sorry for the droves who came here for a weekend of flight filled joy and left soggy and bereft of joy. Anyway, to the best of my knowledge no one crashed and no one died. Clearly we must have progressed at least a little since  Charles Rolls took to the sky with that devil may care indestructible attitude. Daft sod. Lets hope we do better next year eh?    







 

perturbation

So, the iphone 4 arrived a couple of days ago and up till now I've been able to minimize my absolute glee at what is a truly amazing bit of tec. As some of you know, Mrs D is mighty perturbed about not having one for herself. This perturbation has led me to very much play down my heart felt joy, mainly dew to the massive nut kick risk involved should I choose to rub my new toy in her nose. I think we can all agree this would be unwise.

So I guess the question is, where to go from here. I know for a fact Mrs D hardly ever reads this blog, however, the law according to sod dictates she will this time. So to my dear wife, the phone is a bit crap. To everyone else, Its amazing, go get one now and enjoy. 

Very cool Chalk

The chalk guy is back.!!!!!!!!!!!
Positively astounding !!
This guy continues to amaze people with his side-walk 3D chalk drawings.




   



   



   


   


   



   



   



     

 


   



   



   



   



   


   
   



   

      

   



   



   



   

   

                       

The way of the once great shoe

So after holding back a couple of months, I find myself waiting for postie plod to deliver my nice new shiny iphone 4. Mrs D is at the moment less then pleased about this, mostly due to the fact I've ordered one and it's not for her. The atmosphere in the Dobbo household is a tad on the frosty side. I have of course tried to ease her pain with a new pair of shoes but I suspect the glee they provided will be short lived.

It's an odd thing how the once reliable new shoe ploy seems to have lost it's kick. Mrs D tells me that diamonds work far better, lots of diamonds. Problem is I fear the diamond would go the way of the once great shoe, then what. Perhaps the head of an enemy on a silver plate.
         

School - 1970 vs 2010

Scenario:
Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1970 - Crowd gathers. Johnny wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best mates for life.

2010 - Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark.. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Mark started it. Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months. School board hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programs

Scenario:
Robbie won't Keep still in class, disrupts other students.

1970 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Headmaster. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1970 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

20010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Goverment psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. 

Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1970 - Mark gets glass of water from Teacher to take aspirin with.

2010 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. 

Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from Guy Fawkes, puts them in a model airfix paint bottle, blows up an ant’s nest.

1970 - Ants die.

2010-  Police, Armed Forces,  & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, MI5 investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario :
Johnny falls while running during break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary . Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1970 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. 

The times my friend are in the words of Mr Robert Allen Zimmerman, changing. 

Talking shit

A Swiss museum is counting the cost of having crap art, after a giant inflatable dog turd the size of a house broke free from its moorings in high winds. 

The massive poo, an artwork by American Paul McCarthy, left a trail of destruction in its wake as it blew away, bringing down a power line before eventually landing on a nearby children’s home, where it broke a window.

The installation, entitled Complex Shit, was supposed to have a safety system that deflated it in bad weather. However, a sudden gust appears to have caught it by surprise.

That's all

Three years ago today my now long suffering wife Mrs D said "I do". I'm not going to get all sentimental, I just simply wanted to say thank you. I've become something I never dreamed I could, a happy husband. That's all.

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The money shot

Finishing work on Friday afternoon last week was the same as most weeks, I had very little idea how the weekend would pan out, and I am fairly happy to keep it that way. More often then not, when I make idiot proof  plans, I end up getting involved  with the inevitable results. So I trudge my  way through what ever comes up and mostly things work out OK, although not always. This weekend has been one of the mostly, in fact this weekend has been a good one.

Yesterday was spent indulging in one of the loves of my life. At 7.15 I left home with Mr D and we set off to spend the day sat in committee meetings serving the fellowship we both love so very much. To the people reading this that don't understand, trust me when I say it's an absolute privilege to do some of the stuff I'm able to do both for fun, and for free. By the time we got home it was close to ten and I happily plodded to bed completely knackered.

Then came Sunday and the chance to spend the day with Jack, and what a great day it's been. Loading Mr D and the little Jack man in the car we headed to Moors Valley to meet up with a couple of our closest friends and their two most wonderful children. Every time I see Jack and Millie together my heart melts, It's an amazing thing to see them growing up together.
In a life where I do my best to live in the moment of each day, this really is the money shot.

Then tonight after a journey to Argos for a child gate, we took the side from Jacks cot and converted it in to a bed. In my usual way I pestered Mrs D with the absolute necessity for a safety bar in case he fell out. And in her usual way, she ignored me and put him to bed. We just went to have a peek and sure enough he's sound asleep and looking so grown up it makes me shudder.

I don't blog about my other two children firstly because I don't think it's right and secondly because I don't know how they would feel about it, after all this is a blog about me, not them. What I will say though, is that I have in the past proved myself to be woefully lacking on the parental front. So often I feel I've been given another chance to be a great Father, not good, not OK, great. I don't know if I ever will be, but I know I'll keep doing my best. It seems the result of doing my best is weekends like the one I just had. I like that, I like that a lot.